I Heard Him in a Song...

God spoke to me.

Now I know you're probably skeptical and don't want to read on… I'd normally think the same thing but when I say I heard God speak it wasn't like I was walking in the heat of the day and the clouds parted and a ray of light shined on me and a voice from heaven spoke. NO, it was nothing like that. I have never experienced anything like that but He spoke to me. I think its better if I start off by saying, whenever The Lord speaks it's hard to explain. I mean for me it's so personal that when I try to explain it people are like yaaaa ok good for you. So that my be your thoughts right now.

 Ok here it goes… I left Sunday morning fully stocked up and ready to head off into the heat of the high desert. It was Father's Day which can occasionally be a hard day for me. I mean my father died when I was 12 and I'm 33 now. Sometimes on Father's Day the people that are closest to me send me messages like.. Hey I know today's Father's Day hope your ok I'm here if you want to talk ( I never want to talk) or Hey I know Father's Day is hard and I know your dad would be proud of you. Most of the time I never let that stuff effect me, I just say thanks and move on. However this time "I know he would be proud of you" stuck with me. I don't know what that would feel like for him to be proud of me . I just don't and on top of that I don't even know how I feel about the not knowing . Anyway, for the most part it was a wonderful day and I thought about those words "he would be proud of you" off and on that day. I was finishing Tina Fay's book "Bossy Pants" and listening to music just taking it easy. We walked about 16 miles that day and drank more water than I though when in fact we were almost out and we had 3 more days to go! I had been told by locals that there was water at a spot about 25 miles out and from there there was a rest stop about 18 miles past that. So I wasn't too worried. I set up camp and saved us a little water for the next day.

 The next morning we finished off our water and started walking when within 2 miles this truck stops and asks "you need anything?" I smiled and said ya water would be great. They gave me 3 water bottles, a big Gatorade, a tall can of ice tea and some tuna! I thanked them and walked on. I looked up at the blue sky and said a simple "thank you". Before I knew it, we made it to the truck stop that was actually a bar annndddd it was closed on mondays… haha so no water! *Side-note, this is a bar that is in the middle of no where! Literally, very strange. LeeRoy and I  took a break as I drank the ice tea and gave LeeRoy a bottle of water. Not long after we finished the rest of our liquids and another car stopped to give us a bottle of water that we shared. Now its about 2 in the afternoon when leeRoy and I  once again finished every drop of water we had. I looked for any shade I could find so we could stop for another break but not even a bush or a tree were in sight. So there we were climbing this hill in the heat of the day. I was counting every mile to this rest stop we were suppose to find water at. 9 miles to go. I thought, OK we will find some shade somewhere, hide out till it cools down then make a break for the rest stop water.

 We had walked maybe  1/16 of a mile from the last drop we drank and this truck came over the hill and stopped right next to us. It had a trailer with 2 sheep haha and get this, a guy jumps out of his truck and bring us water. He was Hispanic so we had a bit of a language barrier as I was trying to tell him the story of what we were doing. He said "hold on"  and came back with a cooler full of melted ice for LeeRoy to drink. Leeroy just goes to town on it drinking till he couldn't drink anymore. Then the guy handed me a snack pack pudding, a foot long subway sandwich, an ice cold coke and gets back in his truck and drives off. I just started laughing! I mean like the deep belly laugh where I could hardly breath. Really God!?!?! Haha now you're just showing off! I wanted to get to the top of this hill so bad so we kept walking about a quarter mile. I am not joking I was laughing the whole time but wait it gets better. Just on the other side of the hill the perfect little tree with branches that made a little shady spot sat there as if it was waiting for us . I remember thinking as I walked up to the tree, "God made me a picnic".  We set up out little spot and I ate that sandwich like it was that last one I will ever eat! It was so good! I sat there and though, I know that God knows everything and He knew about this moment but I could help thinking I bet he put this tree here just for me just for this moment. Then things went deeper to the places of my heart that I normally  don't talk about….HE noticed me. Now I don't know why that's so important to me but it is. The God of the universe noticed me?! Here's the thing, I know what the bible says  and I know the theology... I get it but when you experience that moment, it's just a whole different thing.

Of course the enemy always wants to ruin the moment  and the thought " you didn't pray for this" like I didn't ask God for help or worse I didn't rely on God for what I needed. And it's true for the most part, I have always felt like I'm on my own like It's up to me ya know. And when I pray I try not to bug God with little things like water. I pray for ST and the kids in Africa and for the money and my general safety. I don't want to bother God with things like water or new shoes or whatever. I just don't want to "bother " God ya know... Again I understand the bible so these thoughts are wrong theology but ya it's just my thing.

 The day went on as more and more people stopped and gave us water and I just couldn't help but praise God. Not only did Leeroy and I get plenty of water but about 15 miles later another semi stopped and brought us 2 Leters of water and a Gatorade. My pack and Leeroy's pack were completely full with water. We couldn't carry another drop. We had been blessed with more than we could handle. I wanted to make it to the rest stop anyway so we kept walking another 3 miles.

Now this is the part where The Lord responded to me. As I was walking up the hill I was half listening to my iPod but mostly deep in thought about all that had happened that day. All at once everything seemed to stop and I heard the words of this song by a band called Stavesacre. The song is called "Keep Waiting". Now I have heard this song about 500 times but this time it was burning in my heart and mind. The song starts with the words of a man that seems to be talking to himself almost.  In the bridge The Lord responds with a simple response and it touches my heart to the point that I'm on the side of the road crying and praising God.

"And when they try to take your eyes off of me, remember
And when they try to take your eyes off of me, remember me

Keep Waiting, I'll be right on time
Keep Waiting, I'll be right on time"

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/stavesacre/

This was The Lord speaking to me about things that are more than I can even explain.

I'm going to end this blog with the words of a song from a band called  Telecast. Every time I hear this song I weep...It's everything I feel.  The verses are a man coming to The Lord and asking Him if He has done too much or turned away to many times for God to love him. In the choirs God responds and I lose it every time... Maybe you can identify with this song.

Will you stay with me
When I forget you're there?
Will you still love me
When my love lingers elsewhere?

I hear you softly speaking
Secrets that enclose
Words that softly linger
A sweet repose

And I will never leave you
Leave you waiting round
Cause I'm the one that's been waiting
For you to turn around
For you to turn around

And how can I contain you
When you contain everything?
The house of my soul
Is far too small
And still I will sing

I hear you softly speaking
Secrets that enclose
Words that softly linger
A sweet repose

And I will never leave you
Leave you waiting round
Cause I'm the one that's been waiting
For you to turn around
For you to turn around

Enclosed by you
Enclosed I say
I am in you
And you are in me
And you are in me